Oh Dear, Oh Dear. I Shall Be Late!
Let me start by stating the obvious: yes, I know I’m late. This episode of That’s a Free Bee didn’t arrive on time. It didn’t even sneak in fashionably late. It missed the party, forgot the gift, and tripped over the dog on the way in. But here we are. We made it. And as always, there’s a very good reason—or, like, eight reasons.
I recorded this one at 6am, the day after it was meant to come out. Why? Because instead of recording on Monday or Wednesday like a responsible podcaster, I did the much better thing and played Dungeons & Dragons with my kids all day. And I regret nothing.
Even better—my daughter, who usually hovers on the edges of our games like a suspicious NPC, finally joined in. She plays a rogue called Luna (of course she does) and asked if she could just play for “an hour.” She stayed the whole day. Six glorious hours of dice-rolling, sibling bickering, and me trying to remember how grapple checks work.
School’s Out, Emotions Are In
This week also marked my daughter’s last day at primary school. And if you’re thinking “hang on, wasn’t she just born like five minutes ago?”—join the club. She’s done brilliantly, we’re proud, and despite the ongoing school placement saga, things are starting to settle. She even got the class award for “Most Likely to Invent Something Crazy,” which feels… deeply accurate.
Honestly, her class? Incredible. Supportive, inclusive, and the boys actually danced at the leavers disco. Like, willingly. Times have changed, folks. Back in my day, boys stood awkwardly by the wall muttering “girls are gross.” Now they’re up on stage doing coordinated routines. The future might be alright, you know.
The Podcast Juggling Act
Now, onto the other reason this episode was delayed: I’m trying to make three podcasts at once, and I have the audacity to think that’s doable.
Spoiler: it’s not. So I’ve parked Draft for now and I’m focusing on PodTales. I’ve already recorded seven full episodes and I’ve got three more in the works—thank you, Tom, for sending in a brilliant trio of connected topics.
My aim? Record 10–15 episodes in total before I launch. That way, I can roll them out steadily without panicking every other Friday. Same goes for Draft. Once I’ve got a healthy batch of episodes, I’ll look at release schedules, frequency, and whether I can keep it all afloat without dissolving into a puddle of admin guilt.
Bloody Shoes & Bad Luck
I know many of you come for the personal stories, and this week… I delivered.
We had the tale of the bloody shoe, where my foot was stabbed by a rogue piece of plastic inside my own trainer. I limped into Asda, bled everywhere, hoisted my leg onto a sink like an amateur gymnast, and tried to dry my foot under a hand dryer. Someone walked in mid-crime-scene and witnessed the chaos. No photos were taken, but trust me: it was a full horror-comedy moment.
But wait—karma struck back later that day when I discovered a flat tyre. No jack in the car. No time to get help. And, as if that wasn’t enough, when the RAC guy arrived, the first thing he saw in my boot were the aforementioned blood-soaked shoes. I had to say, “I didn’t kill anyone,” out loud, to a stranger. That’s the kind of day it was.
Channel 5 Without Ads (A Pro Tip!)
I accidentally discovered that watching Channel 5 through the website means no adverts. None. Just press play and the episode starts. I don’t know why, I don’t know if it’s legal, but I’m telling you as a public service. You’re welcome.
Wrong Car, Wrong Time
And finally—because why not top it all off—I mistook someone else’s car for my own. I rubbed a dent. Tried to buff it out. Wondered why it looked different. Only realised it wasn’t mine when my key fob did absolutely nothing. Oh, and a stranger was watching the whole time. I had to play it off by pretending to make a fake phone call. A full-blown sitcom moment, starring me.
Final Thoughts & A Silly Joke
Look, I know this week’s show was late, messy, chaotic, and covered in blood (literally), but I think that’s part of the charm. Life doesn’t always go to plan. Especially not when you’re juggling kids, podcasts, dodgy footwear, and emotionally significant milestone disco parties.
If you’ve made it this far—thanks for sticking around. As always, you can submit Make Me Laugh jokes, PodTales topics, Draft suggestions, or just send a friendly hello over at BugFixesAndImprovements.com.
And I’ll leave you with this week’s joke, courtesy of Tom:
“I forgot to tell you—I’m going to be on a new BBC show: Hoarders.
I won’t tell you what happens though.
I don’t want to give anything away.”
Until next time,
Diggy